


Just For Decoration

by magicstele



Series: #WheresPhilinda [1]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Actors, Alternate Universe - Modern: No Powers, Awesome Melinda, Awkward Phil, F/M, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-24
Updated: 2015-12-24
Packaged: 2018-05-08 21:44:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5514428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/magicstele/pseuds/magicstele
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tumblr prompt: two extras have to sit across from each other and pretend to converse at a restaurant on the set of a movie. but the fake conversation turns to real conversation and they are really into each other and the director calls cut because they are distracting from the actual characters who are supposed to be the ones making eyes and looking like they’re falling in love, not a couple of random extras</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just For Decoration

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I know nothing about what extras do apart from the little I've been able to glean from the internet. All mistakes are my own.
> 
> This was intended to be the first of a series, and then I got distracted by other things. But since I don't want this getting lost in the deep blue Tumblr, I'm posting it here where it's easy to find in case I ever get inspired to continue.

“I’m being strangled alive,” Phil mumbled, tugging uselessly at his necktie. “This thing is the devil incarnate, I swear. Who invented these, anyway? I’m going to die before they serve us drinks. I haven’t even had a chance to write my will, or pick out a cemetery to spend my afterlife in. Oh my God, if they bury me in this thing I will haunt them for the rest of their stupid lives.”

There was a laugh. “Let me help.”

A pair of hands (very lovely hands, Phil vaguely noticed) was suddenly working at the knot, and then he could breathe. It was a miracle.

“Don’t tie it so tight next time.”

She sat down and Phil blinked. What just happened? And why was a beautiful woman staring at him expectantly? Did she really just loosen his tie?

“Sit down!” she hissed.

Oh. Right. Extras. Movie set. Scene being shot. Phil sat, absently wondering how he got here. He vaguely remembered being told to act like a couple- oh. She was supposed to be his partner. Girlfriend, or spouse, or something couply. Was couply even a word? Wait. She was saying something.

“What?”

“I said, I’m Melinda,” she repeated. “Nice to meet you.”

“Oh. Hi. I mean, nice to meet you, too. I’m Phil?”

“Is that a question, or is it your name?”

“It’s m-my name,” Phil mumbled, sinking an inch or two in his chair. Now would be a good time for the ground to suddenly open up and swallow him. The lead actor and actress entered the room. Melinda slid a menu across the table.

Phil straightened in his seat and opened the menu just for the pretense of something, anything to do so he wouldn’t look like an idiot in front of her.

“Is this your first time?” Melinda asked.

“First time?” Phil repeated dumbly.

“As an extra,” she clarified.

“Is it obvious?” he asked.

“Just pretend your friends set you up on a blind date and you should be fine,” she suggested. “And don’t look at them,” she added as his eyes strayed to the leads in the middle of the room. “We’re just here for decoration. No one will even notice us.”

Phil set the menu down. “You do this a lot?” he asked.

Melinda shrugged. “It’s fun. Gives me some pocket money. And I always walk away with great stories to tell my friends and family at boring parties. How’d you end up here?”

Phil shrugged. “My friends don’t think I get out enough. Thought I should do something spontaneous for once. I never thought I’d get this far when I signed up.”

“Lucky for me, or I wouldn’t have gotten to meet you,” Melinda said with a bright smile.

“I think I’m the lucky one,” Phil said. “I almost died today.”

Melinda burst into giggles and Phil stared at her in horror. This was why he didn’t date. He always did stupid stuff and his potential dates never took him seriously.

“Cut!”

Melinda quieted down and they both looked to the middle of the room to find all eyes on them.

“You two! Pipe it down!” the director snapped. “And hold hands or something. You’re supposed to be a couple. Let’s try this again.”

“Oops,” Melinda whispered.

“It wasn’t that funny,” Phil said sulkily.

“You’re so dramatic,” Melinda sighed.

“I am not-“ Phil broke off, startled when his hand was grabbed  from under the table.

Melinda smiled at him. “Think this is obvious enough?” she asked.

“Obvi- oh!” Phil glanced at the camera on the other side of the room.

Melinda reached across the table, laid a hand across his jaw, and gently turned his face away from the camera. “Eyes on me,” she said. “Pretend the camera isn’t there.”

Phil opened his mouth to speak, then closed it. They were no longer holding hands, but now her face was mere inches away from his own. All he had to do was lean in a little-

“Um, hi again?”

Melinda sat back down. “Is this your first time?” she asked.

“Didn’t you just ask me that?” Phil said, hating how high-pitched his voice sounded at that moment.

“I meant is it your first time on a date?” she clarified. “Well, a date-like situation?”

“No!” Phil said defensively. “It’s the first time I’ve been in a date-like situation with someone I could tolerate!” Okay, that came out wrong. Phil grabbed the glass in front of him and downed it with one gulp.

“Why couldn’t they give us real alcohol?” he complained, glaring at the glass.

“It’s a low-budget film,” Melinda shrugged.

Plates of food were set in front of them. Phil ate quietly, content to just listen to Melinda talk. Apparently, the actress in the center of the room was a Miss Virginia “Ginger” Stark, a famous porn star who was trying to make it onto the gold screen like her parents. The director called for the scene to be redone twice, but Phil just ignored it. Harder to ignore were the cameras all over the place. Phil didn’t really relish the idea of being filmed while he was eating, but, as Melinda told him once again, the real focus was on the main actors. He allowed himself to blatantly stare at the cameras when Ginger Stark pitched a fit over ‘cheap champagne so watered down it won’t even make my father tipsy’. Everyone was distracted at that point, so it didn’t really matter. Then Melinda cleared her throat, and once again, his focus was back on her. Phil vaguely wondered how she did that, if she did it on purpose or if she was naturally that captivating.

Finally, everyone started getting out of their seats.

“So, any further plans in this business?” Melinda asked as they stepped out the door of the restaurant.

“I had a good time,” Phil admitted. “I might try this again.”

“Maybe we’ll see each other again, then!” she said. “Wait!”

She produced a purse from out of nowhere. “My mother owns a gym. She teaches martial arts three nights a week- where is it?- and my brother teaches yoga on weekends- here it is!” She whipped out a small business card and held it out. “If you’re ever in the neighborhood, drop by, and I’ll give you a private lesson! I’ll definitely remember you.”

 _Martial arts…yoga…private lesson…I’ll definitely remember you…_ Ugh, his brain took a dive into the gutter at her words. Phil stared at the fancy calligraphy on the business card. Wait. Were they exchanging phone numbers? Was he supposed to reciprocate? He looked up to say something, anything so she wouldn’t think he was being rude, but she was already gone. Phil stared at the card. Private lesson, huh?


End file.
